Chances the Traveler Has to Take

"We wake up one day and find that we have lost our dreams in order to protect our days. Don't let yourself become one of those people. The fear of the unknown and the lure of the comfortable will conspire to keep you from taking the chances the traveler has to take. But if you take them, you will never regret your choice..."

I, like many people I'm sure, often wake up wondering why I am alternately toiling away and slacking off in work that doesn't fulfill me in the least when there is an incredible world of adventure and possibility waiting for me to explore. I am working toward a goal that is not my deepest desire, but is instead a safe route that is known to ensure wealth and (likely) premature death due to stress. On the other hand, my imagination is not yet full enough to envision a life other than working hard, making money, driving a nice car, living in a nice neighborhood, and being able to take my family on nice trips. I cannot see myself living paycheck to paycheck working the fields of a vineyard or running a bed and breakfast, even though those are two of my "dreams." I got the above quote a little after I returned from a semester abroad in West Africa. I promised myself I would return and take the chances I needed to take to squeeze the most out of life. Not long after that I had the opportunity to go to India, but hesitated, and ultimately missed out, because of my fear or the political unrest and my fear of spending my entire savings on one trip. That is not the person I want to be, but alas, actions speak louder than words and I stayed home, safe and sound, to spend the money on clothes, dinners and drinks, and peace of mind.

Now I am in law school, doing essentially the same thing. I am safe and sound in an incredible ivory tower paradise, indebting myself to the tune of about $100k by the time I pay them all off, so that I can ultimately earn a J.D. and work ridiculous hours making more money. Then I will be happy... right? My fear is that I am losing my dreams to protect my days, but I am not quite convinced my dreams will make me happier. The grass is always greener, and my experience working at a non-profit assures me that money makes the world go round. But what makes me go round? Money and safety or adventure and risk? Am I just glamorizing a life of working for myself and living paycheck to paycheck or is that really what I want to do? And if so, why am I spending yet another beautiful Sunday working on a brief?